Am I willing to set aside my expectations for God’s unexpected work in my marriage?
For several years, on New Year’s Eve we stayed home because of infants. One year we worked on our budget and set financial goals. B-O-R-I-N-G?
Yes, it was! But we were trying to survive, so, it was necessary. We found that the eve of a new year brought optimism, hope, and new expectations.
Marriage is about expectations. Whether dealing with money, sex, or Spiritual formation, any marriage educator will tell you that the key is to have realistic expectations—based on reality.
So why is it, in marriage, that about the time things are going well, the wheels fall off?
We have found that when things are going well our individual expectations are met. When expectations are not met, well, it rocks our world.
Marital life has taught us to “EXPECT the UNEXPECTED.”
After all, isn’t God in the business of doing the unexpected that is based on reality. When we lay aside our preconceived expectations and yield to what God is up to, He has a way of showing up and working in our lives.
That is faith. The “proof of what is not (yet) seen.” (Hebrews 11:1)
Our trust in a Holy God is the fundamental fact of existence that makes life worth living. It gives satisfaction and meaning. We don’t get to chart our marital course. That is God’s job. Our job is to get a handle on what we can’t yet see. “Now faith is the reality of what is hoped for, the proof of what is not seen. For by it our ancestors won God’s approval.” (Hebrews 11:1)
Placing our hope in things that matter. Basing our faith on reality. As a result, faith, hope, and love grow all over the place. Our marriage flourishes.
It is precisely that kind of step that Abraham took when he left Ur for the Promised Land.
The kind of step he took believing God’s call to become the father of many nations.
The kind of step he ultimately took when he placed his son on the altar before God.
Having the luxury of looking back sure gives us the confidence to trust God with decisions that sometimes don’t make any sense. It is amazing to see how God used a painful process, like financial management, to do an amazing work in our early marriage.
We are so grateful that a sovereign God walked with us every step of the way. We have seen Him be Provider in some of the most unexpected ways.
We know how painful shattered dreams and expectations can be, but even through the hurt, God teaches us about Himself. Life’s experiences have taught us to trust God even more.
Like Abraham, we can’t see the future. We don’t know what this year will bring. Be careful that you’re not clinging to your New Year’s Expectations when God shows up to do the unexpected. As Abraham experienced, the path God leads you on just might impact generations and generations to come.
BYRON | CARLA 